What to Do When a Baby or Child Dies

If your baby or child died in hospital, the medical team and the hospital bereavement service will guide you through the immediate practical steps - there is no need to rush, and no pressure to make decisions before you feel ready.

Many hospitals, including Great Western Hospital in Swindon, have specialist midwives and bereavement officers whose sole purpose is to support families through this time, and they are experienced, compassionate people who will walk alongside you.

If the death happened at home or in another setting, a doctor will need to attend. In many cases the death will also be referred to the coroner, please do not let this alarm you; it is standard procedure and does not mean that anyone has done anything wrong.

You do not need to make any decisions straight away. Take all the time you need. Let others carry what they can, and when the moment feels right, we are here.

The sudden or unexpected death of a baby or child is almost always referred to the local coroner as a matter of routine. The coroner may request a post mortem examination to help establish exactly what happened.

We want you to know that your child will be treated with complete dignity and tenderness throughout this process. Coroner involvement can extend the timeline a little, and we understand how difficult that waiting can be.

Our funeral directors will liaise directly with the coroner's office on your behalf, and we will keep you gently and regularly informed, so that you always know what is happening and what comes next.

The registration process after the loss of a baby or child depends on the circumstances, and we know it can feel bewildering at an already painful time. Please never hesitate to call us, we are always happy to explain what applies to your family and to sit with you through it.

If your baby was stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy, the stillbirth must be registered within 42 days. The registrar will issue a certificate of registration of stillbirth and the paperwork needed for funeral arrangements to go ahead.

If your baby was born alive but sadly died, however short their life, both the birth and the death must be registered. A death in England must legally be registered within 5 days, unless it has been referred to the coroner.

If your baby was born before 24 weeks of pregnancy, there is no legal requirement to register the loss. Your baby is no less real and no less loved because of this. Many hospitals will provide a certificate of loss, and you are entirely able to hold a funeral or a private farewell. We would be truly honoured to help you arrange this, whatever form it might take.

For deaths at Great Western Hospital, registration usually takes place at the Swindon Register Office. For a complete guide to what to bring and what to expect, please visit our Registering a Death page.

We believe, deeply, that no family should ever have to worry about money while grieving for a child, and we want you to know that Hillier's does not charge for our professional services for the funeral of a baby or child.

This means our funeral director's fees, the care of your child, and all the time and support we provide to your family are provided entirely free of charge.

The Children's Funeral Fund for England is a government scheme that covers the burial or cremation fees for any child under the age of 18, as well as for babies who were stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy. The fund is not means tested, it is available to every family, regardless of circumstances, and the claim is made directly by the funeral director or the burial and cremation authority, so you will not need to complete any paperwork yourself.

There will still be some expenses that may need to be met. Cemetery and crematorium fees, for example, may apply depending on the arrangements you choose. Where additional items are requested - a printed order of service, a special coffin, floral arrangements - we charge these at cost.

Many churches and officiants will also waive their fees for a child's funeral, though this does vary. When we sit down with you, we will explain every cost clearly and honestly, so there are never any surprises.

If you are worried about how to meet any of these costs, please do not hesitate to speak to us.

Many parents find real comfort in spending time with their baby or child - holding them, talking to them, or simply being close. There is absolutely no right or wrong here. Some families wish to visit often; others would rather not visit at all. Some find that they feel differently as time passes. Whatever feels right for you, at any given moment, is the right thing.

Hospital bereavement suites often allow families precious time together before your baby or child comes into our care at the funeral home. Once they are with us, you are warmly and unconditionally welcome to spend time with them in the calm, private Chapel of Rest at any of our four funeral homes - in Old Town Swindon, Rodbourne Cheney, Highworth, or Royal Wootton Bassett. You may visit as often as you like, for as long as you need, and you will never feel rushed.

In the years that follow, small keepsakes often become very precious. We can gently help you gather memories - hand and footprints, a lock of hair, photographs - and we can make sure anything you wish to place with your child is carefully included. A favourite outfit, a soft toy, a blanket, a letter - nothing is ever too much to ask, and nothing is too small to matter.

If you are not sure what you would like, there is no pressure to decide anything in the moment. We will be guided entirely by you.

When the time feels right, one of our family will sit down with you, at our funeral home, or in your own home if that is easier, to plan a farewell that is as unique as your child. We will take all the time you need, and nothing will ever be hurried.

There is no single way to say goodbye to a child. Some families choose a quiet, intimate service with only the closest people present. Others choose a larger gathering filled with colour, music, balloons, and everything that reflected their child's personality. Every choice is yours, and every wish will be honoured.

Arrangements might include:

• Burial or cremation, including woodland burial
• A small white coffin, a coloured or picture coffin, or a woven casket
• Music, readings, poems, and personal tributes chosen by your family
• Flowers, teddies, or charitable donations in your child's memory
• Special touches - a dove release, butterflies, or a memory table
• A religious service, a celebrant-led service, or something entirely your own

We will take care of every practical detail quietly in the background, so that you are completely free to focus on your child and on each other. For more information on the specific funeral options available, please visit our Infant and Child Funerals page.

At Hillier's, our care for your family does not end on the day of the funeral. Our free Bereavement Care Service is available to every family we support, offering a warm, listening ear, access to local support groups in Swindon, Highworth, and Royal Wootton Bassett, and confidential one-to-one counselling, whenever you feel ready to reach out.

Grief after the loss of a baby or child is unlike any other loss, and it touches every member of a family - including brothers, sisters, and grandparents. There is no timetable and no right way to feel. Alongside the support our own team can offer, a number of specialist organisations are also there for you:

• Sands: The stillbirth and neonatal death charity, supporting anyone affected by the death of a baby
• The Lullaby Trust: Supporting families bereaved by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child
• Child Bereavement UK: Supporting families when a baby or child dies, and helping children who are grieving

Do we have to hold a funeral for our baby?

There is no legal requirement to hold a funeral for a baby born before 24 weeks of pregnancy. For all children, the type of farewell is entirely your choice, there is no obligation, and no judgement. Some families choose a full service; others choose a quiet, private goodbye; others are not ready to decide for some time. We will support whatever feels right for you, whenever you are ready.

How much does a child's funeral cost?

The Children's Funeral Fund for England covers burial and cremation fees for children under 18 and for babies stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy. When you contact us, we will explain openly and clearly exactly what support is available to your family, please never let concerns about cost stop you from calling.

Can we see and hold our baby before the funeral?

Yes, of course, and for as long as you need. You are welcome to visit your baby or child in the privacy of our Chapel of Rest whenever you wish. Our team will always make sure you have all the time and space you need, with no pressure and no clock watching.

Can brothers and sisters be involved in the funeral?

Absolutely. Many families find that involving siblings - perhaps by drawing a picture, choosing a piece of music, or placing something special with their sibling - helps children begin to understand and grieve in their own way. Our team has experience supporting families through this, and organisations such as Child Bereavement UK offer wonderful guidance for helping children grieve.

What help is available after the funeral?

A great deal. Our own free Bereavement Care Service is open to every family we support, and we will always make sure you know how to access it. And we can put you in touch with national specialist organisations including Sands, the Lullaby Trust, and Child Bereavement UK. You are never on your own, not on the day of the funeral, and not in the weeks and months that follow.

Nothing can prepare a family for the loss of a child, and nothing we say can take your pain away. What we can promise, with our whole hearts, is that your child will be cared for with the utmost tenderness; that every wish - however small - will be honoured; and that our family will walk alongside yours for as long as you need us.

Hillier's serve families from across Swindon and the surrounding area - including Highworth, Royal Wootton Bassett, Cricklade, Wroughton, Marlborough, Devizes, and the wider North Wiltshire region.

If you need advice, have questions, or require urgent support, please call us at any time - day or night - on 01793 522797.

Our family is here to help yours.