Working out what to wear to a funeral is something many of us worry about, especially if it is the first funeral we have attended in a while. The good news is that there are a few simple guidelines, and families are usually far more concerned that you are there than about exactly what you wear.
This guide explains what to wear to a funeral in the UK, including traditional funeral dress, what men, women and children can wear, how to handle colourful or themed funerals and what to consider for services of different faiths.
Written by the team at Hillier Funeral Service, a family-owned funeral director in Swindon that has been caring for local families since 1923.
1. What to Wear to a Funeral: Smart, Respectful and Understated
If you have not been told otherwise, choose clothing that is smart, modest and in dark or muted colours. Black is traditional, but navy, charcoal, dark grey and other subdued shades are widely accepted today. Avoid anything that draws attention, such as bright prints, slogans, very casual wear or revealing outfits.
The most important thing is to check whether the family has asked for anything specific. Funeral notices, invitations and online tributes often mention a dress code.
2. What Should Men Wear to a Funeral?
- A dark suit in black, navy or charcoal
- A white or pale shirt
- A dark or subtle tie
- Polished dark shoes and dark socks
- A smart dark coat in colder weather
If you do not own a suit, dark trousers with a smart shirt and a jumper or blazer is perfectly acceptable.
3. What Should Women Wear to a Funeral?
- A dark dress, skirt or trousers with a modest top or blouse
- A tailored jacket or smart coat
- Closed or low-heeled shoes, especially if you will be walking on grass at a graveside
- Simple, understated jewellery
- Tights or a wrap for cooler churches and crematoria
Comfort matters too. Services can involve standing, walking and time outdoors, so choose shoes and layers you can wear for several hours.
4. What Should Children Wear?
Children do not need formal black clothing. Smart, comfortable clothes in plain or darker colours are ideal, such as a school-style outfit. If a child has a favourite item that reminds them of the person who has died, many families are happy for them to wear it.
5. Colourful and Themed Funerals
More families now choose to celebrate a life with colour. You might be asked to wear something bright, a favourite colour of the person who has died, or clothing linked to their interests, such as a football shirt or motorcycle leathers.
At Hillier Funeral Service we have helped families create themed funerals inspired by everything from favourite films and TV programmes to hobbies such as gardening, knitting and motorcycles. You can read more about making a funeral unique. If the family has asked for colour, it is a sign of respect to follow their wishes.
6. Dress Codes for Different Faiths
Customs vary between faiths, cultures and families, so it is always worth asking if you are unsure. As a general guide:
| Faith or tradition | What is often expected |
|---|---|
| Christian | Dark, smart clothing is traditional, although many families now welcome colour |
| Hindu | White or light, simple clothing is often worn rather than black |
| Sikh | White or muted colours, with heads covered in the gurdwara |
| Muslim | Modest, loose-fitting clothing, and women usually cover their hair |
| Jewish | Dark, modest clothing, and men often wear a head covering |
| Humanist or non-religious | Usually whatever the family requests, which may be colourful |
We arrange funeral services for all faiths and beliefs and are always happy to advise families and mourners on what is appropriate.
7. What to Wear to a Funeral Wake or Memorial
Most people wear the same outfit to the wake as they do to the funeral. Some memorial services and celebrations of life are more relaxed, so check any guidance from the family. If you are unsure of the difference between these gatherings, our guides to what happens at a wake, funerals, wakes and viewings and funerals vs memorial services explain more.
8. Practical Tips on the Day
- Check the weather and bring an umbrella or a warm coat if the service is outdoors.
- Choose shoes you can walk in comfortably on gravel or grass.
- Keep accessories simple and switch your phone to silent.
- If you are watching a service online, you do not need to dress formally, but many people still choose to.
- If you cannot find the right outfit, do not let it stop you from attending. Your presence matters most.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you have to wear black to a funeral?
No. Black is traditional in the UK, but dark and muted colours such as navy and grey are widely accepted. Some families ask mourners to wear bright colours instead, so always follow any guidance they give.
Can I wear jeans to a funeral?
Unless the family has asked for casual dress, jeans are usually best avoided. If they are all you have, dark, smart jeans with a formal top or jacket are better than not attending.
Is it rude to wear colour to a funeral?
Not if the family has asked for it. Without guidance, it is best to choose understated colours and avoid anything very bright or patterned.
What should I wear to a funeral if I am a pallbearer?
Pallbearers usually wear a dark suit, a white shirt, a dark tie and polished shoes with a good grip. Your funeral director will explain what is expected on the day.
What do funeral directors wear?
Funeral directors usually wear formal dark clothing. Their role is to guide the service calmly and respectfully while keeping the focus on the family.
We Are Here to Help
If you are arranging a funeral and would like to let mourners know what to wear to a funeral you are planning, or about a special theme, we can help you share your wishes. Our family is here to help yours. Call Hillier Funeral Service on 01793 522797 or read our funeral service checklist to help you plan each step. If you have recently lost someone, the GOV.UK guide to what to do when someone dies is also a helpful starting point.