When a loved one has been cremated, one of the most common and deeply personal questions families ask is: “Who can collect the ashes from the funeral director?”
This is an emotional moment, and we want to ensure the process of taking your loved one home is handled with the utmost sensitivity and care. Understanding the rules and procedures around collecting cremated remains is important during an already difficult time.
Who Is Legally Allowed to Collect Ashes?
In the UK, there are specific, clear guidelines about who can collect ashes from a funeral director that we follow to ensure the ashes are released safely and respectfully.
The Primary Applicant
The person who signed the cremation application form has the primary right to collect the ashes. This is usually:
- The next of kin
- The executor of the will
- A close family member who made the funeral arrangements
Authorised Representatives
However, funeral directors understand that circumstances vary, and there are provisions for others to collect them as well. If the applicant cannot collect the ashes personally, they can authorise someone else to collect them on their behalf. This might include:
- Another family member
- A close friend
- A legal representative
If someone other than the primary applicant is collecting, the funeral director will always require written authorisation from the applicant before releasing the ashes. This vital step ensures the dignity of the deceased and protects the family’s interests.
What Do You Need to Bring To Collect Ashes?
When collecting ashes from a funeral director, you’ll generally need to provide:
- Photo identification – A valid form of ID such as a driving licence or passport
- Written authorisation – If you’re collecting on behalf of someone else
- The deceased’s details – To confirm you’re collecting the correct ashes
Most reputable funeral directors have clear procedures in place to ensure ashes are released to the right person, protecting both the family’s interests and the dignity of the deceased.
What to Expect When Collecting Ashes From the Funeral Director
When you arrive at the funeral home to collect the ashes, the funeral director will:
- We will verify your identity to ensure you’re the authorised person to receive them
- We will present the ashes in a suitable container (usually a temporary urn or casket)
- We will provide any certificates or documentation
- We can discuss any questions you may have about scattering or burying, or keeping the ashes
Questions Families Often Ask about Collecting the Ashes
How Long Can Ashes Stay with the Funeral Director?
We are happy to keep your loved ones’ ashes safe for a reasonable period, often several weeks or months, whilst families take the necessary time to decide what you’d like to do with them.
However, it’s advisable not to delay collection indefinitely. If you need more time to decide on final arrangements, do please communicate this with us, we’re here to support you and we will hold the ashes until you are ready
What If There’s a Dispute About Who Should Collect the Ashes?
Occasionally, family disagreements arise about who should take possession of the ashes. In such cases:
- We will usually release the ashes to the person who arranged and paid for the cremation
- If the dispute is serious, we can hold the ashes safely until the matter is resolved. We may advise that legal advice is necessary in complex situations.
Can Ashes Be Posted or Delivered?
Whilst it’s possible to have ashes delivered by courier or post using specialist services, many families prefer to collect them personally. If collecting in person isn’t possible nor is authorising another person to collect them on your behalf, speak to us about secure and respectful delivery options.
What Happens After You Collect The Ashes?
Once your loved one is safely in your care, you have several meaningful options for their final placement.
- Keep them at home in an urn
- Scatter them in a meaningful location
- Inter them in a cemetery or memorial garden
- Divide them amongst family members
- Create memorial jewellery or keepsakes
There are few legal restrictions on what you can do with ashes in the UK, though you should obtain permission before scattering them on private land.
Support During a Difficult Time
Collecting a loved one’s ashes is an emotional moment. At Hillier Funeral Service, we want you to know that our professional funeral directors handle this entire process with the utmost sensitivity and care.
Please do not hesitate to ask questions or request additional time if you need it. If you are unsure about any aspect of collecting the ashes or what to do with them afterwards, we’re here to gently guide you through every step.
Please contact your local Hillier Funeral home today to speak with one of our professional and compassionate team members.